A quick note to say thank you to everyone for reading the it May be series so far. I have already been challenged on my own thinking and have learned from people's responses. Now that we are in the middle of the series I just want to reiterate what I wrote in my kickoff post. This series is not intended to be giving answers to topics on gender equality, feminism, etc. Rather, I am eager to write about where I am so far and what my lived experience has been. I believe that we will always be learning and I am open to change and different perspectives.
This time last year, Evan and I were in the thick of wedding planning. We intentionally had a short engagement (four months), and we had to be quick with decisions about the actual wedding day. This four month period was the first time both Evan and I experienced people assuming what our husband/wife roles would look like.
We had a funny time when we went to sign up for a gift registry. While we were getting signed up we realized that the store clerk was really only addressing me, asking ME questions about how I want MY kitchen to look, or what appliances suited ME best. At first I just brushed it off that Evan was offended. But then I realized what was happening was really unfair to Evan. First, Evan actually cared a lot more than I did about what our kitchen would look like and what appliances we should have. Mainly because he actually knows how to make food and he has researched the best types of dishes/appliances and I am happy if I can find a bowl to put my cereal in. Second, I realized that if I want to have the same opportunities that men have typically had, then I should be okay with the man having the same opportunity that I have always been given. So after some arguments, I was happy for Evan to make a lot of decisions about the gift registry because he had put more thought into it, and I actually liked his ideas. (We still argued a lot before we landed there).
There were lots of other moments that made me laugh, and also hurt my feelings when people assumed what 'role' I would be taking in the marriage. None of these moments are really worth getting into, but the overall observation I am making is that men and women are both hurt when assumptions are made based on their gender.
Being a newly married Christ-Follower I have come to realize more and more that my highest calling is not to be an amazing cook, a perfect wife, or mother (in the future) but to love God and love others. If while pursuing that I do become a mother or a super fantastic wife than that is great! Maybe I will even be inspired to take a cooking class......