Well I tried.
I tried to coordinate three part time jobs and also maintain a healthy level of sanity. I was close.
But it turns out, two jobs is enough. The first post I ever published here was about my ongoing coping with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, a mood disorder that is often misunderstood. One of the major characteristics for me is anxiety and uncertainty. This is something we all experience throughout our busy lives and I understand that it is not unique to me. But one way it may be different for those of us with mood disorders, or major anxiety is that the fear and doubt that we experience is at times uncontrollable and causes panic and instability.
I think I knew going into January that three jobs in the social services field was going to be a bit much, but I was so interested in all the different positions that I really wanted to give it a try. And the hours were not going to exceed 45 per week, which was reasonable. However, I found that because all of the positions had me working closely with people experiencing stress or at risk of harm, it was too much for my own personal health. I am thankful to have a husband that supports me and understands when I need to say no, or step back. So I said no to the shelter.
One of the ways I could tell things weren't going well was when I found myself constantly thinking about everything that I was going to do wrong on a shift, or dreaming about making mistakes. I could not control these thoughts, and they were affecting my ability to work. And when you are working with vulnerable people, it is important to be fully present. Things are much better now that I am just focused in two areas and I can take some mornings to myself.
I will always be the kind of person who wants to work hard and to take on more than I should, but I hope I will become the kind of person who can pace myself and recognize when I need to step back and just breathe.
I feel like many people can relate, mood disorder or not :)